Relationships can be wonderful but they also are complicated. When we partner up we tend to expect romance like we’ve seen in the movies. Sorry, not so. Sure, it can and will be at times; passion comes and goes in long term relationships as life take us on its many journeys.
However, relationships take work – the good ones anyway. That’s not a bad thing.
Here’s what you’re looking for in your relationship:
- Respect and Trust
- Support and Empathy
- Friendship and Loyalty
- Fun and Excitement
- Good enough Sex. Really nice or great at times!
- Sexual Equality
- Acceptance of Differences
Sometimes old baggage or old resentments get in the way of your present relationship. Couples often start to disengage when children come into the picture. Is that what’s happening or happened to your relationship?
Hurt and disappointment may make it seem impossible to find your way back to one another. In therapy, I can help you to move past these wounds and recommit to a “conscious relationship” that is even better than you had before. I can help you take a risk and be yourself, accept differences in your partner and have just the kind of partnership you always wanted except this time you will be creating your own movie, love story.
What Else About Relationships?
Relationships are tricky. It’s always easier to see someone else’s shortcomings before seeing your own. It’s just easier, more obvious. In order to identify your own behavior in the relationship you need to stop looking outward and start looking inward at your own thoughts, feelings and behaviors. If you are being the best person you can be in the relationship then the difficulties from your partner or the other person will easily surface.
When I speak about relationships I focus on all kinds; partner relational, parent-child, work/school relationships and family or friend relationships.
Here are some of the elements involved in improving any of these relationships.
- Personal self-growth
- Healthy communication
- Awareness of personal triggers
- Becoming a good listener
- Willingness to admit when you are wrong
- Openness to another’s ideas
- Ability to reprocess old hurts and wounds and not bring old baggage into the present moment
The best way to deal with relationship discord in therapy is to get a short history to understand where some of these behaviors and beliefs systems may have originated, start addressing the conflictual issues and acquire skills for better communication.
I find that learning new ways “to be” while “experiencing conflict” is the most significant way to pick up new skills. It’s always helpful to have an objective therapist in the room when discussing difficult or “hot” topics.
I have worked with many couples that have experienced very difficult issues and have created a relationship with more intimacy and trust than they thought they were capable of. It’s making a conscious effort and recommitting to something better that reignites the flame in many couples!
Most couples come for counseling when their marriage is on death row.
Not a bad idea but how about coming before then? If you have decided or decide to end your relationship, I can help you in therapy to deal with the loss and transition back to being single.
Is there a relationship you’d like to address right now?